No matter how convincing my arguments or the number of times I attempt to lure my best friend to participate in social networking, she just won’t give in.
It totally baffles me that she is vehemently resistant to social networking applications and social platforms as they seem tailor made for someone like her –she loves to share; she consumes vast amounts of information daily and she derives joy from being among the first to know something.
We’ve been friends since 1991 when we both worked at a now-defunct high tech trade publication. She a writer, editor, and wordsmith extraordinaire and is intimately familiar with reporting about technology. She also uses technology in both her work and personal life. Over the years she has consulted with a couple of software developers to create very specialized content management systems. Clearly, she is not a Luddite.
She’s also one of the savviest networkers I know. She has a huge network of friends and is much better than me at keeping up with people by scheduling weekly lunches, going out for drinks, and making play dates with her kid and her friend’s children. She also spends an hour or two each night sending out emails just to say hello and maintain those strong ties with friends and family.
Over the years I have gotten permanent jobs, freelance assignments, a few hairstylists, and some fabulous close friends through her myriad of connections. She is always putting people together and then stepping aside to let those connections flourish. I’ve seen it time and time again.
Similar to me, she’s a total media and information junkie – getting dozens of magazines; she up on all the latest news and events; she loves pop culture, music and movies; she’s an avid reader; a TV junkie; she spends hours seeking out information online; and she is a thorough researcher of anything that captures her interest.
In addition, she’s a one women recommendation engine. New restaurants, consumer products, fabulous services, unheard of sales and discounts - you name it and I’ve gotten amazing recommendations and tips from her. About 99 percent of the time, I will be over the moon about something she clued me into before the masses got wind of it. I trust her implicitly. When she gives something the thumbs up, I usually run out to buy it immediately.
I’ve asked her repeatedly why she doesn’t sign up for Facebook or Twitter and she doesn’t seem to have a specific reason - just “I’m not that interested.” I’ve tried to dig deeper but she always seems to want to end the conversation.
Maybe she’s just a private person? Perhaps she simply prefers what she perceives as more intimate face-to-face interaction? There could be serious time constraints with the demands of a full-time job, a husband and a kid? I’m not sure since she pretty much refuses to give me what amounts to “real” reason in my opinion.
Last week she and I went out for dinner and to a comedy show to celebrate her birthday. I could tell that by my fourth reference to something I saw on Twitter she was beginning to roll her eyes. She also seemed to bristle every time I took out my iPhone to check Twitter, which wasn’t that often as soon as I realized she was sensitive about my attention being diverted for 60 seconds.
Her husband is on Facebook and so are nearly all of her friends. I know because most of them have friended me – including her husband. When she and I talk about what mutual friends are up to, she seems to have the scoop and often lets it slip that she got the info from her husband, who got it via that person’s Facebook page. She has actually called me a few times to ask me to look up some info on Facebook or Twitter about mutual friends. That’s usually my opening to launch into questions about why she doesn’t just sign up for herself. But she always deftly sidesteps and moves onto other topics.
Perhaps I should just let this issue drop and appreciate her for the wonderful, thoughtful, caring friend that she is. However, as I become more convinced of the power of social media and as it permeates my life both personal and professional to even greater degrees, I feel a slight gap between us.
We’ve been through a lot over the years and I’m obviously not willing to let such an important relationship whither because of this issue, but it’s something that nags at me a little.
When my mom pooh-pooh’s Twitter or Facebook; I get totally it. She’s older. She’s not technical savvy. She’s set in her ways. And she’s spent her 70-plus years living in the same tiny town with the same folks she known since grade school. She communicates with friends via the phone or by running into them at the grocery store or coffee shop. If she hasn’t talked to them in more than a decade, it’s probably because she doesn’t want to.
It’s easy for me to wrap my head around why my mother sees no need for these “new fangled” methods of communication. It’s not so easy for me to understand why my best friend is a social media holdout. I don’t think that her embracing social media would make communication between us easier. I just believe that it would enrich her life in so many ways.
Do you have a social media holdout in your life? I’d love to swap stories – especially if you managed to eventually get them to see the social media light.
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My aunt is the social media holdout in my life. Her first reasoning for avoidng it was “I’m too old, it’s not for me” but as other family members started joining the circle on facebook that excuse seemed to become obviously invalid. We’re working on her. The most recent bit of encouragement was listening to a few of us talk about it during the holidays and my cousin’s wife (my aunt’s daughter-in-law) excited show off her new facebook account… this woman rarely stops moving to notice she has an computer in the house, let alone be concerned with social networking.. yet there she was going on and on about facebook.
I think for some people the idea is so daunting, and when you listen to the chatter… most non-internet marketing types spend their time on facebook playing the games and passing the notes. So someone who spends their time connecting face-to-face or more personally, the game playing seems like a time-suck they just can’t and don’t want to afford. SO my first line in the sales pitch is.. “you don’t have to do all the junk or pay attention, just use it like email with a group of friends all sharing”.. it usually sparks at least a little more interest in learning more.
I’m married to a “twidow,” a social media holdout. And yes, he has asked me to look up a Fan Page for a vendor he likes offering discounts. It’s all about compelling reasons. He doesn’t have one yet. @ShaunaCausey says her husband is a “twidow” too.
My compelling reason to check out Facebook was our younger generation of relatives who stopped using email and IM to chat. We found they were loading pix and tons of copy on Facebook. Like any good business gravitating to where our audience is chatting, I made the move.
Your friend will jump in when something about social media is useful to her.
@social_dynamics
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